When you plan to fail you give yourself permission to win
When you plan to fail you are more creative
When you plan to fail you become fearless
Let me explain…
What happens for most of us when we decide to set a goal or manifest a dream is that we get very excited. We can’t wait to share our ideas and we get caught up in the vision and begin to make plans, knowing that this time it will be different.
That’s the first stage. In the second stage we become a little more practical and may even get as far as designing some solid plans and setting actual goals using the good old ‘SMART’ method. So far so good.
In the third stage we oddly enough get distracted. Look out for these signs. We have a tooth pulled or the plumbing falls apart or we get caught up in all the minutia of daily life and before we realize it our brilliant ideas and plans get put on the back burner… again.
And before you say “But Joan, these things really happened and I have no control over them” let me say this. For the most part these ‘things’ are part of the self fulfilling prophecy of doom that we create to keep us from success. Of course something will happen because if it doesn’t we will need to complete something and actually do what we say we want to do, how scary is that?
We actually attract this cycle that manifests as some kind of emergency. Strangely enough these things rarely happen when we have passed that point of no return and actually succeed in our efforts.Once we experience a new way of being it becomes a habit much more easily and that’s the secret, we must experience it.
This is a vicious cycle that is happening every day for millions of people, not just entrepreneurs. For the purpose of this article it’s coaches and entrepreneurs that I’m going to focus on. I want this cycle to end because there are gazillions of people missing out on what these amazingly talented service professionals, like you, have to (and need to) offer.
I call it the cycle of guilt. I have experienced it myself and still do on occasion if I’m not aware.
Yes, guilt. For some reason or another it is usually guilt that stops most people from moving forward. Yes, it’s the fear of failure or the fear of success but the core reason for both of those and other fears is the feeling of guilt.It’s in our DNA and it has been given way too much negative power. I believe it is a powerful source of good in the world if we learn to use it to our advantage. Without it we wouldn’t achieve much at all.
Guilt is a strong driver. It drives people to success but it can also drive them to distraction. I don’t even believe we should spend hours, days, years figuring out what the guilt is about. I believe that we should acknowledge it and move forward. Notice it, give it a second or two and then release it or send it out for an ice cream.
Guilt can be about so many things, often shame is high on the list. Shame comes in so many guises, as many as fear in fact. Do we need to know in what form we personally have it? I don’t think so.
I actually believe that if we constantly fall short of our desired purpose and keep dampening down our passion then something is going on, and to acknowledge that is enough. You could go mad and broke trying to figure out what it is and even if you do, there is no guarantee you can ‘fix’ it.
I do know that it has a purpose and the purpose is a positive one, and accept that as fact.
So, just know that you are in the company of millions of other lovely people and plan to fail. Here’s how you do that.
Next time you get to step one, the excitement and passion part of your desired goal or dream, maybe you are attempting to design something new for your business (this is almost always a time when the cycle begins) plan to fail.
Make a decision that you don’t give a toss whether it comes off or not and that you will complete ‘this’ (whatever it is for you) just because you can and you want to see what it feels like. No judgement, no sweating or sleepless nights, just fun and focus. It’s OK to fail, failure is good.
Then get into the mindset of the person you would need to be to think like that. Mindset is key to everything you create in your life so get used to getting into the right mindset for everything.
Then simply go through the motions with gusto. Make the plans, set the completion date, put the steps into your monthly, weekly, daily calendar and stick with the programme until you get a result that you like. It may not be as brilliant as you had hoped, however it’s a win because you completed something and you did a pretty good job of it. Next time will be even better.
You actually didn’t fail at all and even if you did and it bombed completely, you still won because you did it, and you learned what not to do next time, so do you understand what I mean by planning to fail now? It very rarely happens! We can spend hours worrying, lying awake and sweating the small stuff when in actual fact it’s almost impossible to fail UNLESS we don’t actually move forward in some way and even that is almost impossible.
There is always an end point and unless you give up completely (and even that is acceptable if you’re on the wrong track) failure is just another word that we learned to help keep us small in some way. I am so passionate about taking words apart and dissecting them completely so that we don’t need to get hung up on them in any form. Words are nothing without the meaning we give them and this gets us back to mindset, another thing I’m passionate about.
Every time you get a sense that the cycle is about to start, become aware and notice what you are about to do to sabotage yourself and flash a STOP sign. (Actually create a virtual STOP sign in your mind ready to use)
Become a ninja of awareness. Look for the signs of self sabotage and learn to recognize them. You will gradually build up new habits and they will take over from the old ones much quicker than you can imagine… As long as you practice awareness. Sooner than you can imagine you too will look at words in a different way and choose how to use them.
Now, wouldn’t that feel better and be more fulfilling than creating another cycle of guilt? When you get used to this you will discover that you’re unstoppable and you won’t get caught up in the c#@p you’ve been feeding yourself in the past.
These cycles can manifest in many ways so it’s very important to be on top of your game so you can stop them before they take a foothold. As you begin to recognize them, name them so that you get quicker at spotting their arrival.
When you plan to fail by not giving a toss, and create action plans as if you were good enough, smart enough, talented enough (whatever it is for you) then there is nowhere left for the cycle to sneak in and take over, you can spot the signs a mile away and send them somewhere else to play.
This is when the magic happens, you soon begin to tap into your creative juices, you begin to think bigger and bolder and you don’t even care that much if you ‘fail’ because by now you will have learned that there are much worse things than failure.
Giving up is one, being afraid is another and allowing the past to run your present is the biggest. Without the past there would be no guilt, no shame and no fear. There would be no cycles for you to be aware of.
Live for now, prepare for the future and have fun while you do what you love…
To do what you love and be paid what your worth is the way to a happy and fulfilling life. That’s success.
Become an awareness Ninja and plan to fail until you know you can’t.
Joan Bell is a Solo Biz & Marketing Coach, Certified NLP Practitioner and a facilitator of the GET CLIENTS NOW! 28 day marketing programme.
As a result of working with Joan clients create marketing plans that work, signature systems they can take to the bank and lifestyles they’ve only dreamed of.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Joan_Bell/122755